is it bad when you can feel time pressing down on you?

the idea of getting old scares me
i think id rather die young
that doesnt petrify me as much as getting old and worn out
or even old and set in my ways
my biggest fear is to be a crotchety old woman
the preassure in my temples is mounting
hurricane katrina fucked me over twice
and exporting telemarketing jobs to india a third
i realized that my aunt is a rascist
the kind that has no idea they are
who insists that "i have tons of black friends"
you know
the well meaning kind
im not really sure how or why people see color
i mean sure
you cant avoid seeing skin tone
but why does it influence how you view someone
id still rather die than live shuffling
creaking
insisting
that how it used to be still is
and that is RIGHT
never read a book where much of the plot is based on plane explosions while flying in one
its bad karma